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Recessionary Cover Letters
Dear … You: I learned about your opening for an outside sales rep on Monster.com, so I’m sure it’s not even funny how many motherfuckers are applying for this. At this point, after months upon months...
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An Observation about Foreigner
Of the many smash hits of the British-American rock band Foreigner, all but three were about fucking, the hope of fucking, having recently been fucked, or the reality of no longer being allowed to fuck...
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Rational Responses to Charles Baudelaire
Charles Baudelaire: “You have to be always drunk. That’s all there is to it—it’s the only way. So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks your back and bends you to the earth, you have...
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Common Refrains of the Assyrian-Period Douchebag
“Hey, what happens in Babylon stays in Babylon! Am I right, bros?”
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Not a Late-1970s Popular Music Lyric, But Should Have Been
It’s the last chance for fuckin’! It’s the last chance to get it right! It’s the last chance for fuckin’! At least until tomorrow night! (“Last Chance” – Words and music by Xander Gorgeous)
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Rational Responses to Dan Hill Lyrics
Dan Hill Lyric: And sometimes when we touch The honesty’s too much. Rational Response: I want to break up.
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